Anyway, here's my dilemma: I don't want to give her any money—it'd be rewarding stupidity. And knowing my luck I'd give her $3.50 and that would be the $3.50 that wins her the 2012 US election. If that happens, we can look forward to
- moose hunting becoming the US's national sport
- the world's 204 countries becoming 3 countries: America, Alaska, and Not-Alaska-or-America
- people dropping their g's—it's gonna happen.
- all acorns being removed from US soil
- privately-funded death panels becoming the norm. The government can't be trusted with something like that.
- a law requiring people to keep barracudas as pets.
I want to avoid all that hassle. Besides, I can think of better ways to spend the $3.50 (give-or-take) in royalties that she'll earn if I buy her book. With that $3.50 I could
- Buy a newspaper and mail it to Sarah Palin
- Buy her a good speech. I'm sure a homeless guy would write one
- Throw my change in the garbage. It'd be more useful that way
I could continue mocking Sarah Palin, but at this point it's just not fun anymore. Tina Fey, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Conan O'Brian, and Jon Stewart can do a much better job than I can. They've made mocking Sarah Palin similar to mocking the Ford Pinto: pointless but fun nonetheless.