Monday, October 18, 2010

What's wrong with them?

My sex-addicted co-worker wants to know something. Maybe you can help him out.

CW: "Dude, I have story for you."
Me: "Okay...."
CW: "I go to the bar with my cousin, okay. He picks up this girl and he's grinding on her, grinding hard. So he picks up this girl and takes her homes. He fucks her. They're kind of dating for a few weeks."
Me: "And?"
CW: "So he gets bored of her. He starts gaming this other girl, bro. He says he likes her, but he just wants to sleep with her. So he's gaming this girl when he finds a new girl. He starts talking to the new girl."
Me: "Your cousin is a tool."
CW: "So we go to the bar, me, my cousin, and the new girl. He's grinding hard on her. Then he leaves to go walk around the bar. He finds the second girl, the one he wants to sleep with. He starts dancing with her and telling her that he likes her. He goes to the bar for a drink, bro, and sees his kind-of girlfriend. He doesn't think she sees him, but she does. She follows him to the dance floor and sees him grinding on the new girl. So the kind-of girlfriend yells at him on the dance floor. This attracts the attention of the second girl. She comes over and yells at him too! The new girl is just standing there; she doesn't know what to do. She starts yelling at my cousin too."
Me: "In the middle of the bar?"
CW: "Why were they yelling at him? They knew he was gaming them."
Me: "Maybe they didn't know. I'm SURE your cousin was completely honest."
CW: "Why are girls such bitches?"

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Words of Wisdom 2

More words of wisdom:

CW: "I like to piss girls off so they say, 'fuck you.' Then I can say, 'I know you want to, but you can't.' "

[These were his first words to me. The last saw him 3 weeks before]
CW: "Dude! So you won't believe me, but I fucked a twenty-year-old."
Me: "And how was that?"
CW: "She didn't know I was sixteen. She missed her ex though. She kept saying, 'I shouldn't be doing this.' "
Me: "And how do you know she missed her ex?"
CW: "Because that's how chicks get when they miss their ex."

[Referring to a sixteen-year-old girl]
CW: "I sold that bitch for two younger girls."
Me: "Why would you do that?"
CW: "Younger is better; they don't know what they're doing, so it makes it more fun."
Me: "You're disgusting."

CW: "You need to work so you can get the bitches. That's what life's about."

[to anyone who's white]
CW: "What's up Tony?"

CW: "Dude, I had a fight with my girlfriend."
Me: "What'd you do?"
CW: "I told her that I didn't want her talking to other guys. 'How do I know you're not cheating on me? I should be the only guy you talk to.' I don't want her talking to other guys."
Me: "That's ridiculous. Why would you do that?"
CW: "She should only be talking to me bro. I'm the only dick that she needs."
Me: "When you phrase it that way.... You are indeed a dick."

CW: [Looking at a girl] "Hey, baby, what's up?"
Girl: "Fuck off. You're so annoying."
CW: [To me] "She wants me."
Me: "To die, yes."

CW: "I hate [so-and-so]. She doesn't work. I listen to her, and she's bragging about it on the phone. 'Oh, I've been on my coffee for an hour.' "
Me: "How's that different from you? You don't do any work either."
CW: "I hate people like that."
Me: "Me too."

I'm Back

I think the title says it all.

I've been lazy the fast months. I've always updated this blog sporadically, but the last few months have seen, well, nothing. That annoys me; I like writing.

So I've decided to do more of it. I'm still going to post stories about ridiculous customers and coworkers, but my blog is going to take a more political-current-events view. If I'm going to write, it's going to be about stuff that interests me.